Wherever you are, that's where you're supposed to be

 ²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
   ²⁹ “Come,” he said.
   Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
 ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”- Matthew 14:28-31

To: everyone, but especially my kids, and myself, when needing reminding

The sermon was great this weekend. I've been getting lucky, or maybe just listening a lot closer as my life in shambles becomes more "put together" in the view of the outside world, I appreciate the sermons more and more. These Sunday morning chats have addressed the fact that the economy sucks, people are dying senselessly, and finding a gracious and loving God isn't the easiest thing to do now. Living through my time of extreme suck where relationships fell apart, money went out way faster than it came in, and job prospects seemed distant to non-existent, in an oft-classic pattern, I definitely felt myself draw nearer to God. 

Faced with times of trial, you usually either run away, ask "why me" and say "screw you" to the God that seemingly left you there. Or. You can ask "why NOT me", realize that (one of my favorite mantras EVER) the God that brings you to it is the God that brings you through it. The awesome take home message from this sermon? Wherever you are is right where God wants you to be. The hardest lesson this past year has been the total humility, watching my pride goeth before the fall, and having to accept that little victories are sometimes all you get that week, so sit down, shut up, and keep praying!

One year ago, I was so proud, set in my ways, convinced hitting up church and thinking about God was something for Sunday mornings, and did I mention my awesome life plan?! Great-on-paper boyfriend who would be a great husband and father one day, decent money with a degree that was sure to be done quickly and set me up for a life of gainful employment with all the benefits. Except the boyfriend, and it took me painfully long to figure this out, wasn't what I needed. He was my rock through so much and it still kills me how much I hurt him but I want great, not good. That degree kicked my butt after I got rejected from job after job and found myself beyond floundering. When, at Christmas, I saw just how steep the fall from grace was about to be, I set my sights on reading the Bible. Some days, and some sections, were a struggle to get through. More days, than not, however had exactly what I needed to hear. Tough love from the Proverbs, VICTORY in the Old Testament, or just straight up love in the Gospels. 

Today, I've got 80% of the Bible read, and I'm so excited to keep going. The happy-happy-joy-joy love of the New Testament has long been finished, so I'm delving through the trials of the Israelites, as they fall from being a powerful nation-state, learning how to rebuild as an entity within a larger, more powerful group. All of the trials and tribulations of people around them trying to question why they had to rebuild, if they would rise up in rebellion, and all while in a land that was laid waste to 2 generations earlier and now surrounded by enemies. No big. But I get it. God told the Israelites what would happen if they disobeyed him, and he kept his promise, exiling them from the Promised Land, but he brought them back and with the full backing of their ruling government to give them a chance to be closer to Him. 

But back to the sermon and verses: wherever you are, that's where God wants you to be. Sometimes that means you walk on the water in the middle of a storm, jobless, dating the wrong man, with the damn degree that won't finish itself, but it also means the time when the degree is done, the real job starts the day after, you're embracing the time to be single, and above all, realizing that this is the moment God has created for you. 

-Me